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Selfish, self and others rejection wrapped in alluring packaging, from points of pain and fear. It's all very morbid and a bit too common. Maybe the answer is learning to be somewhat selfless while setting healthy boundaries. Very interesting topic concerning sadistic behavior patterns, ironically, I have seen many of this type in problem solving positions. Descaling, ah yes, I experienced this alot in the military.

After 1.5 years on my own. And was not under his control so mucb two years before that. I can honestly say, after believing I would never want another man eva. I met my new neighbor.. And it wasn't till he said, "Come take a look." . With this kinda a flirty look, at least to me. Anyways, not the first time he said it, but the second... It hit me, like what I lost.. And it brought up feelings I never thought would come. He is cute and a cop. Lol. Sad thing is, he knows my story... Lol lol oh lord. I call it my 24 hour crush.. It did hurt I promise. Just so many more emotions that came up. Like.. A real man goes after dreams. Not just want to abuse people.. Marry them to do so!!! Mine did.. And he was fairly well off financially. So he ended up around me a lot etc Anyways... To me it was part of the whole tragedy. Knowing what I lost..a possible good man down the road. While I was fighting to save a mess I thought would work out if he could just repent. I cared for him more than me.. Oh it is a nightmare for sure. And to know this cute cop my age just thinks I am the crazy one. We live in a small town..And if he was flirting..I honestly think he got me in the house to warn me to shut up. My abuser had me so upset at times.. Long story. Oh how nothing is normal with these guys.. It is twilight zone for sure. Even the recovery.. 😢❤ Anyways.. One day at a time.

I never looked at love bombing like the empath being empty waiting to be filled. I never thought love bombing was that.

THIS GUY IS 10 million % CORRECT‼️

I trust my judgement, always have. Life is complicated , we need to cut ourselves some slack. I think that the story of Tess of the D'urbervilles explains why some women end up with narcissists.

9:45 "the narcissist is very vulnerable." Of all the important facts in this video, I believe that this is the most important to remember when dealing with a narcissist.

People like that are psychopaths, they use others for their selfish "needs".

Maybe they had it right in "a Brave New World". No intimacy, but lots of fun time - how great is that? Nobody could ever own you!! How lovely to know that one person can't control you - relationships are illegal! So, it's one goverment that controls you... But all of your partners are being equally controlled - abuse would mean damaging something that's not yours - the government's goods -

Spot on! I’ve experienced, felt, and sensed all of this. I’ve tried to visualize and define this machine' without reading about it, transferring memories and feelings into words and diagrams is very challenging. Your diagrams and explanation are very clear and easy to follow. I'm grateful for your delivery and time. Thank you so much. "The link to the course is broken and gives a 404 error. Just FYI, I’ll still look for it."

And this is how THEY go on to breed and feed another day. We are not allowed to reproduce our empathy, but they are encouraged to reproduce their evil. Our character is driving evolution. And then, "Idiocracy", but evil

I always referred him to as Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. The idealization phase, aka lovebombing he was Dr. Jekyll, but the de-valuing stage, he was definitely Mr Hyde, which towards the end I saw Mr Hyde more frequently. Thank God we were only married 8 months and in the process of getting divorced. Thank you for this insightful information.

Needed this to partner up with …. Since the yuck was for 33 years. Thanks….. going on 7 years now…. So odd after having to be the fuck receiver for that 33 years and told to be thankful for it…… thanks my friend

After I had enough I noticed IAM healing eating working better. She still there trying I get satisfaction k owing I've overcome her

So all the only fans creators are depressed?

The fact is everyone has narcissistic characteristics. Our DNA is encoded for Self-preservation, which naturally creates self-serving decision making. If you meet a true narcissist, the disarming charm will blind you to any thought of a train wreck ahead. I'll share something i learned to do years ago. It might sound mean but i would immediately find something about someone new i didn't like and constantly remind myself of it until i decided to move on or proceed. It gave me complete control of my feelings.

The culture has a big part on this. Those butterflies in your stomach is not love, it's anxiety.

So true. It was only when a I found a counsellor with the shelter, that I began to hear the evil was real. I “hid” these sessions from him, eventually running to a new life. Thankful for the help I received.

In Ireland we say what comes around goes around. Just wait and the Narcissist and flying monkeys get their justice allocated negative rewards.

Dont DO it! God hits way harder than u!

I’d really like someone who understood that 😊

I'm actually like that for at least 6 years cos I feel like sex is disgusting for me. 😮

“ No homie”🤣 Thank you !!!

"They are leading you to the slaughterhouse" - very true!

Sending you peace love and light Richard.

I just feel like I'm a loser so no one would want that

I’m looking up videos like this for help. My at first I thought my partner was a narc due to the way he coped with rejection etc. came to realise he’s very very codependent, low self esteem and childish at times. After 2 years of seeing this dynamic it’s quite sad, not saying he totally fault free, but he is a kind man always trying to please everyone and everyone just shits on him. I hate them now. I’ve tried to get close too, be there and I’m an outsider deep down. Never get a phone call, never got a present ( except for 1 from my SIL) my son never got a present from them in 2 years. ( if I have ever done that to my partner’s daughter I can imagine the turmoil and badmouthing). I’m hurt by this people and I’m not even part of it, I can’t imagine the hurt that deep down my partner truly feels ( he tries to ignore it but I know deep down that he knows)

You guys are hitting the nail on the head conversations like this are very useful. That's what i naturally did after my time in the education system finally came to a close 13 years ago it had to, and my stance since then has been that this is going to be a lot more about me, my needs, and what i want now no exceptions and if someone can't give it me then i'm having none of that, even i don't really know what i want lol how could i? but whenever i do it will be about that. I won't be told no anymore or that everything i think, feel, and how i so much as perceive things is wrong and rubbish if it doesn't agree with the status quo or someone else's biases and perceptions you have no right. The only message you get is that who you are means nothing at all which i very much internalized sadly and that was the intention. All i know though is I'm not and never have been just another brick in the wall😏and i'm not always "asking for too much" by asking for even the smallest need to be validated and fulfilled. Sadly it's so much harder to move on from it all than just saying it because it happened for years, they're still very much in there screwing things up and i still feel this urge my needs should be fulfilled by somebody else and by people who call themselves teachers who think they should get instant respect from everybody even when they do nothing to earn it. I'll be honest with myself about that even when i don't want to because it sucks, and even 13 years after i've left i still feel like i want to crawl back into that narcissistic cesspool 😖even if i couldn't possibly do so i'm too traumatized which thankfully is stopping me. And even after proving to myself i can learn anything i want to it's not enough, and none of that was ever enough for me i was unsupported and unchallenged when i wasn't even allowed to think and still am honestly, once i get ahold of my faculties i just take things as a challenge lol i will find a way i promise, the education system wants none of that. This is the biggest source of my emotional flashbacks is what happened to me with all that all warped together because they knew exactly where to hit me, what to make me feel, and how to do it. Although i can fulfill my own needs i've always been more independent than others and i can look after myself which is the crazy part, but i think it's what's keeping me stuck and from moving anywhere in my life just frozen at square one they've got me exactly where they want. I don't think my parents have ever helped because they do everything for me and brother but are the type to then complain they get no help lol but still insist on doing things and won't let us help and then get all mad if we try, even if they wish they had help lol so conflicted. Collusion yes you're right about people with NPD they certainly always need validation and seek to use collusion against people which is all i've ever been through deceitful "agreements" making it seem i agreed to any of that when i didn't whatsoever especially when i was too young to understand what i was apparently "agreeing to"🤧but apparently just being there is the agreement you can imagine the anger, betrayal, hurt, hate, and trauma i feel about that. Wiki says "Collusion is not always considered illegal." well it should be. They made promises and made it seem to me and everybody else they would look after our needs but they can't and didn't, and just misled and lied without ever teaching us how to look after our own needs and how to have our own thoughts, mind, consecutive thinking, and initiative or critical thinking skills even if they're always saying that's what they're teaching, well if that was the case i wouldn't have had to learn about it and what it means years later by myself. Indeed it's the promises i'm grieving but i think also that tiny part of myself, that innocence they still chipped away, and definitely my youth nevertheless those experiences still changed me. Why is it preferable to keep things this way? money and power isn't a valid answer we want real change that benefits all it should never even be a thing that happens because it's effecting generations of people it's a sin against our civilization, but it never comes. At age 34 now i see none of it makes sense because it's not built to do so it's not built for us but the accumulation of wealth and power. Why is your needs more important than anyone else's? we should all get the same no exceptions. So i just decided screw it my needs come first after all that and i do the best i can, it's needed to become a bit more selfish in this way and it's a good way to test whether someone is going to live up to their promises and not just saying things when they don't produce what they promise. I just wish we didn't have to learn about anything the hard and traumatizing way because we don't not always anyway some things we inevitably have to but not everything. Okay so you want a song a good one to describe all this is "promises in the dark" by pat benatar now i truly get what this song means listening back to it. Social media sites you can do without them we don't need them i too got sucked in from the the age of 14 at least since myspace the first social media site, until it got too unsafe in the last few years and people who're supposed to protect us start taking advantage of it, trust me you will eventually land yourself into a bad situation it will happen no matter how much you think you can avert it or change how you do things because crazy people on it. As you said it's just about selling yourself as a commodity however even people who have a social media for their business have too many problems on it from people if it's not the cancel culture it's being hacked into, losing all their contacts they probably should have backed up but didn't because we're led into a false sense of safety, don't wait until something bad happens like i did it's not great. I would say it's greatly exhabberted mental health conditions because people are inside talking to nobody instead of outside meeting real people which at this point we'd like to go back to please, but it isn't unboundaried since it got far too unsafe i usually don't share this many details anywhere else if not i'm totally anonymous everywhere with none of the profiles filled in on anything i am on that has that feature, they don't even know i'm female cos again not safe to advertise that, i feel so much better knowing i have nothing on other social media sites though because there's no possibility something could happen.

Not me😅 definitely wary and see right through people or so I assume. Was getting on great with somebody recently didn’t mention my ex then the subject came up and I explained that she has BPD and guess what the new person has BPD too. It’s a no from me unfortunately but we were getting on so well, I wonder why. 😅😅

What do you think of ruminating as an inner survival strategy? As in your inner trying to get it through to you that you are living a shit show and you need to get out. Playing it over and over until you hopefully get the message at some point.

Narcissists like that are capable of ruining others’ life. And I believe that many homeless people are victims of that kind of abuse because I almost ended up on streets with two college degrees and good start in life.

Slightly Emotional Hearing This - I Thought It Was Just Me Being My Introvert Self And I've Wondered In The Back Of My Mind What's Happening With Me And I Guess It Can Become An Elusive Maze Of Emotions And Anxiety For Some Of Whose Celibacy Kinda Coincides With The Possibility Of Perimenopause And Menopause And Put It Down To "Symptoms" Especially If We Stopped Menstruating Due To Stress Or Adrenal Fatigue Related Issues From The Narcissistic Abuse?? Such An Important Message!! Thank You 🙏🏻 🩵💙

The most inciteful is the comment preceding the 4 steps: "the narcissist can't feel his/her own emotions!" That's pretty revealing.

This is exactly how I coped. I used to send the text messages to my sister and best friend to get a sane, rational interpretation as I was too close. I’ve asked “is it me?” And they’ve both said no, this is narccistic behaviour and to end the relationship. From now on if I’m in any relationship, if I find myself saying “is it me?”, then I will run for the hills.

Just learn what a narcissist is and stay away from. We have a culture where everybody is just a victim for any reason that's why we have so many Karens and Kens. Also, being in gay culture where almost everyone is doin it, I can safely tell you sex is not the problem.

Thank you for this most fascinating mythological/mystical addition to your v informative podcast

I experienced everything he says.😢

You just explained the godless worldly society - sex life of men and women. Men are not robots 🤖 without feelings Being sober and to stay Sober I have to work on all my character defects- I value myself not to do this any longer

If yur a good judged off people yul be fine yul no straight away good are bad. ❤ trust yur. Self and yur hart and sole yul no.

I dislike none of your videos. This one, however, inspires awe, and thought on another level! Thank you for all of them, and a bit more for this one.

Thank you. Constant bringing up past. Deflections

Loved this Guys....thanks❤❤❤

This is wonderful. Thank you.

I have banned myself from men . I need to reprogram my brain.

Intimacy = pain.

EXCUSE ME ,PERSONAL

Also because after you've healed and realized that you only attract narcs, you run from them. You are more aware of toxic men and you 🏃‍♂️

I am turning 40 this year. I went no contact with my father 21 years ago, he could very much be described as a malignant narcissist. Since then i have wasted 18 years of my life because somehow, subconciously , every single man i have dated has been narcissistic. I have actually only been with 3 people in that time, but each required a 3 to 5 year recovery period between them where i stayed completely single to recover from the emotional abuse and constant lying, being drained financially and cheated on repeatedly. I think Sometimes we just don't have the skills needed to be in productive relationships and its better to be single. I am a giving and empathetic person, but when it comes to attracting narcissistic people, its like a fly over shit.

. It’s a cluster B personality disorder and what happened is they get karma eventually. It might take 10 or 20 years but eventually they feel 20 times the pain they caused you. So move on with your own life (learn to let go).